In a world dominated by social media, and the opinion of others, feelings of self doubt, sometimes in the form of imposter syndrome, is something that can easily become the forefront of people’s lives. It seems these days everyone has a comment and opinion on who someone really is, and what they now owe to their audience. This can lead to comments about what you deserve or don’t deserve, making you doubt if you actually belong. By definition, Imposter syndrome involves thoughts of self doubt and uncertainty about your talents and abilities. Overall, it’s a sense of unworthiness which you don’t feel you deserve because of who others believe you to be.
Generally this is thought to mostly be something more wealthy or high achieving people suffer from. Well I think in here lies the misconception. I think anyone can suffer from imposter syndrome because there’s a constant need for people to be accepted in this world. Whether it’s from our followers, or our friends or family. We may not want to disappoint our mother or father who always wanted us to do better than they did. You may now doubt your achievements are not enough because you don’t want to disappoint them, so you make yourself appear more successful than what we may truly be. Anyone can deal with this at a time and I want give 3 simple tips to help deal with it.
Learn to Stop Downplaying Your Achievements-
Let’s first define what an achievement is.
Achievement- A thing done successfully, typically by effort, courage or skill. Nowhere in that definition did it say how big or small that achievement has to be. This is where lots of us struggle. Learinng to tie your shoe, waking up on time consistently, getting a degree, eating healthy for two days when you’ve eaten unhealthy for the majority of your life, etc. These are all accomplishments whether how big or small. That’s the reality. Things people have done will always be big to some and small to others based on that particular individual’s own accomplishments or status. Some will praise while others will belittle it, this is a fact. We can’t always look to others approval on whether or not what we’ve achieved is worthy of accolades. You are your own ceiling and floor.
“Learn to redefine your meaning of success to your own standards”
Which leads me to my next tip.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
I know this seems impossible because we all compare ourselves to others at many points in life. And don’t get me wrong, this can totally be healthy. We should always looking to others for inspiration, opinions(sometimes) and to give yourself goals to achieve. But this can be a slippery slope. It’s when we compare ourselves to others beyond inspiration and admiration to the point of copying . Why is this critical;. Because we’re basically calling God a liar, which truly is impossible. We’re saying God what you made is not good enough, not talented enough, and I wish I was like someone else. I wish I had what you uniquely gave to her. This is where comparison can be dangerous and unfruitful. Comparing to others should only make us want to be inspired to be our best selves with your individual gifts and not wish you were like someone else.
When I first started blogging, I looked at other bloggers and said wow, where will I fit in. It’s a sea of people who don’t look like me and people who wear black and neutrals all the time, where does my colorful aesthetic fit. Well I had to accept that my gift would make room for me.That me being my authentic self will draw who it’s supposed to and that I will attract what is meant to be mine. I couldn’t worry about what others are doing and try to be something I wasn’t and am not, just too gain success. Always remember someone else’s success doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
Remember you are unique with gifts and talents designed specifically for YOU to demonstrate in your own way. Comparing yourself to others will only stunt you from growing to your fullest potential and hinder you from all the things God has set aside specifically for you and no one else.
Here are. a few scriptures highlighting that God honors your uniqueness.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully (uniquely) made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”Psalms 139:14
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in themEphesians 2:10
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not too harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”Jeremiah 29:11
Your are Worthy Just As you Are
The word imposter in itself can suggest you are a fraud, or manipulator. But always remember you are worthy just as your are. You are worthy of the promotion, or to be in that room, to sit at that table, etc. Challenge doubts when they arise and try to highlight why you deserve something versus why you don’t. Just because you’ve made a mistake in the past or something didn’t work out as planned, doesn’t mean your weren’t qualified or there’s something wrong with you. The right people will recognize your talents and abilities when it’s your time, but you have to always first recognize it in yourself. Keeping a high level of self confidence will help keep you grounded when self doubt tries to creep in. Speak positive affirmations and life over yourself and know that your are still worthy even when others may feel you aren’t.
Let go of Perfectionism
This is the one I am most guilty of. I always felt that I couldn’t move on something unless it was executed to perfection. Well the reality, is nothings ever really perfect. How can you grow if you never make a mistake to learn from. Often people who deal at times with imposter syndrome set extremely high standards for themselves and compare themselves to some perfect outcome that usually doesn’t exist. Perfectionism hinders productivity; learn to know when good is good enough. Many times we sit on ideas and moving forward because we lack certain resources or feel we can’t achieve it until we have certain things. Well why we are doing that, someone is making movies with their iPhone, no video camera in sight. Someone else is recording a song in their room with a mic and not in a full blown studio. The sooner we let go of trying to make everything perfect, the sooner we get to where we dream of being
I’m no expert by any means so if you really have thoughts of depression, anxiety, imposter syndrome please consider talkingto a therapist and or seeking other resources for assistance. These were purely my opinion based opinions that I have used to combat periods of imposter syndrome. Sometimes talking to others or knowing others have similar thoughts is a great starting point for many. I hope these tips were helpful and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.
Please continue to stay safe.