It’s officially past February 1st, which means all things Cupid, hearts, and shades of reds and pinks are starting to permeate the atmosphere. As many people say; Love is in the air”, now that the month for lovers has arrived. Whether people are gearing up to celebrate a special Valentines or Galentine’s; it’s not so safe to assume that everyone is “feeling the love”. There are many who don’t have a special someone in their life to celebrate or to reciprocate that love. Many are dealing with grief, disappointments and maybe even doubting their own self- love. With such uncertainty and the drastic state of the world currently, as well as impeded certain pressures from social media; self love has become harder to grasp and hold on to. During this season when people are celebrating, or trying to find true love, we must remember that true love starts with loving yourself first.
Sometimes people look at embracing self-love as a form of selfishness. It generally encourages a person to regard their own well- being and happiness. Now although this concept can cause one to become narcissistic, I believe there is a positive aspect to it. If you care about yourself; including, spiritually emotionally and physically; this only allows you to better love other people. I look at loving yourself as taking care of the vessel God created, therefore you can show love in an unbiased, genuine way to others. Here are a few tips on how to “truly” love yourself.
Speak Positive Affirmations Over Yourself
Learn to acknowledge what’s right and what you love about your self instead of focusing on what you don’t like. Life and power lies in the tongue. The more you speak negatively, the more it becomes attached to your spirit. Learning to love oneself requires speaking positive and loving affirmations about yourself. Often we are taught that we have to minimize our positive qualities as not to seem boastful and prideful. Acknowledgement of your good qualities doesn’t mean you are not a humble human, it simply means you are choosing not to be consumed and defined by your past failures and disappointments. Speak highly of yourself and your mind will have no choice but to believe it.
Don’t Rely on Others to fill a Void
Often times we are so desperate for love that we can apply pressure on others to fill the void for that love. We must remember that people are imperfect, so when we rely on others for our sole happiness you will majorily always get the same outcome; disappointment. If one is happy with who they are, it won’t be a setback the moment someone doesn’t come through for us, or says something we don’t like. Love should never be conditional on how someone treats us, and when you find love for yourself, no one will be able to waiver it.
Spend Time with Yourself:
How can anyone love something or someone that they don’t spend time with? Allow yourself time to get to know yourself. It’s easier to embrace self love when you know what attributes you have worth loving. Some may call it “dating yourself”. Find out what truly makes you happy. Find what your boundaries are and set them. Do nice things for yourself. Take time to nourish your mind body and soul. Don’t be afraid to prioritize your well being and sanity first.
Embrace Your Flaws
This embodies a few different things in my book:
1.Letting go of past traumas and hurts
This can be difficult and doesn’t happen overnight, but one should aways be making constant steps. Sometimes holding on to these hurtful experiences causes us to believe we’re not worthy of love. We feel it’s our fault and this makes us stagnant in moving forward. Letting go allows you room to love.
2. Appreciating your mistakes:
There’s no one who hasn’t made a mistake and embracing them means that you’re susceptible to growth.
3. Forgiving Yourself:
Just as you forgive others you must forgive yourself for past mistakes. Forgive yourself for who you thought you should’ve been but wasn’t. Forgive yourself for the time you think you’ve waisted in your life. Once you forgive yourself, you open up your heart for acceptance of your true self and allow room for growth and change.
Accept that What God made is Worth Loving
God made us fearfully and wonderfully, which means you’re uniquely you. He wants us to love the what he has created because there is not one person on this Earth that has your exact makeup. When we don’t love ourselves, we are saying to God; you made a mistake. When we learn to accept our individuality, flaws and all, we learn to love ourselves as we are. There are no stipulations in God’s clause of life that only those deemed the prettiest, most popular, skinniest, etc, deserve to be loved. Every person is worthy of love, but if you don’t first love yourself, how can we expect others to see what’s most lovable about us.
Quick transparency moment, when I was younger, I used to get teased all of the time for the color of my skin. I was the darkest of my siblings where sometimes I felt like I didn’t belong. It made me think sometimes that If I was lighter-skinned than I would be more attractive. I had to literally learn to love “the skin I was in. Once I started to do that, the confidence and love that I had for things I couldn’t change radiated off of me, where others could see. But the process had to start with me. I couldn’t expect others to love what (at the time)I hated.
To Love Yourself You must Know the Meaning of Love
Love is often a word that can be thrown around rather loosely. Now I don’t think this is all from conscious behavior; I think some people truly don’t know the meaning of love. And to be honest, you can’t love if you don’t know what that really means. Now Websters has a definition, but I like to go by the definition that God; The one who showed the ultimate sacrifice of love, gave us. He embodies showing unconditional love to us and is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love is patient:
Be patient with yourself. Allows yourself time to heal from past and present traumas at your own speed
Love is kind:
Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to things you like. Enjoy time yourself. Show compassion to yourself when you suffer.
Love does not Envy;
Do not be jealous or envious of what others are doing or have going on.Learn to be grateful for what you have.
Love Is not Proud:
Do not mask your insecurities by being overly proud. Be humble
It does not Dishonor others:
Bringing light to others downfalls will never make you look better. When you show love to others, even those who mistreat you, you show love and respect for yourself.
It is not easily Angered
Try and give yourself grace when you make mistakes. Don’t down yourself and ; but make a plan to do better next time.
Love Keeps no Record of Wrongs
Try and give yourself grace when you make mistakes. Don’t down yourself and don’t dwell on past mistakes. If god has forgotten them; you should do the same. Forgive yourself and make a plan not to repeat the same things in the future.
Love does not Delight in Evil:
Do not believe negative things about yourself but instead repeat positive affirmations. Disregard lies about you and focus on the truth, which is that you are who God says you are
Love always protects, trusts
Protect your mind, body and soul. Your well being is important. Trust in yourself. Trust in your intuition and follow it.
Love Always Hopes and Perseveres:
Believe that God wants the best for you and believe that you are capable of having and achieving great things. Believe that you have PURPOSE on this earth
I hope that one or some of these tips have been helpful. When one truly embodies self love, you will be more than equipped to receive true love and reciprocate it back. So this year, try being your own Cupid and I’m sure you’ll attract the love you deserve.
These tips are many my opinion and should be taken as that. This post contains affiliate links in which I receive a small commission from your purchase.